The Original Source of The BREW Recipe

(notwithstanding claims by our Brewmeister chef to the contrary)

"I was robbed!"declares Holbrook cuisine expert, Michele Smith.
Note: In this politically correct age of ours, you may find some of the ingredients mentioned below somewhat distasteful, or worse, but just remember, things going on in 17th century Scotland were just a tad more seasoned than they are today.  But we hurry to declare that the Brewmeisters do not subscribe in any way to the canabalistic tendencies of the Three Witches or to their possible biases.  Otherwise, some of us might very well find ourselves on the short end of the stirring spoon.  The recipe found in Chapter 1, Episode 2 (and below), of The BREW, has therefore been slightly modified so as not to offend the sensibilities of any national, racial or ethnic group.  We do apologize, however, if vegetarians, pet owners, conservationists, and/or antivivisectionists take issue regarding what's left over.  But, hey, no one is suggesting you test the stuff out!

Macbeth

ACT IV, Scene I, A cavern: in the middle, a boiling cauldron

Thunder, Enter the THREE WITCHES

1st Witch. Thrice the brinded cat hath mew'd.
2nd Witch. Thrice and once the hedge-pig whined.
3rd Witch. Harpier cries; 'tis time, 'tis time.
1st Witch. Round about the cauldron go;
In the poison'd entrails throw.
Toad, that under cold stone
Days and nights has thirty-one
Swelter'd venom sleeping got,
Boil thou first i' the charmed pot.
All. Double, double, toil and trouble;
Fire burn and cauldron bubble.
2nd Witch. Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the cauldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt and toe of frog,
Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg and howlet's wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.
All. Double, double, toil and trouble;
Fire burn and cauldron bubble.
3rd Witch. Scale of dragon, tooth of wolf,
Witches' mummy, maw and gulf
Of the ravin'd salt-sea shark,
Root of hemlock digg'd i' the dark,
Liver of blaspheming Jew,
Gall of goat, and slips of yew
Sliver'd in the moon's eclipse,
Nose of Turk and Tartar's lips,
Finger of birth-strangled babe
Ditch-deliver'd by a drab,
Make the gruel thick and slab.
Add thereto a tiger's chaudron,
For the ingredients of our cauldron.
All. Double, double, toil and trouble;
Fire burn and cauldron bubble.
2nd Witch. Cool it with a baboon's blood,
Then the charm is firm and good.

Enter Hecate to the other three Witches.

Hecate. O, well done! I commend your pains;
And every one shall share i' the gains.
And now about the cauldron sing,
Like elves and fairies in a ring,
Enchanting all that you put in.

Music and a song: "Black spirits," &c. [Hecate retires.

2nd Witch. By the pricking of my thumbs,
Something wicked this way comes.
Open, locks,
Whoever knocks!

MacBrew
This is Michele's Cure-All Brew (please read disclaimerbefore using):
  •      five quarts water
  •      5 large garlic teeth
  •      15-20 whole cloves
  •      3-5 ounces dried mint leaves
  •      1/2 tsp. cayenne pepper
  •      3-5 fresh lemons
  •      honey
    1. Place the water in a five-quart Dutch oven.
    2. Crush and peel the garlic, toss into the water.
    3. Toss the cloves into the water.
    4. Dump the mint leaves into the water.
    5. Dump the cayenne into the water.
    6. Juice the lemons and throw the rinds into the water.
    7. Set the juice aside for later.
    8. Bring all this to a boil, turn down temp and steep for 15 - 20 minutes. Fish out all the crud that
     will be floating around. You can either eat it, or throw it away. I usually throw it away, as eating
     it proves nothing except how stupid you can be. Either that or you really really need the martyr
     points.
    9. Add the fresh lemon juice to the concoction.
  10. Pour yourself an 8-ounce cupful, add honey to taste. Drink up!!!
  11. Keep the remainder in the refrigerator and heat and sweeten as needed.